vvhitehouse:

aneastcoastbreeze:

vvhitehouse:

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

  • instant cute outfit with minimal effort
  • it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
  • sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
  • u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

That last comment though

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I still love you
(9:05pm)

no I don’t.
(9:06pm)

I’m so confused. why did this happen.
(2:26am)

I want you to be happy. if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.
(10:45am)

don’t you ever give up.
(12:02am)

I kind of hate you for leaving me.
(8:57pm)

but I still love you.
(8:59pm)

I won’t look at you in person but I talk to you in my head
(11:14am)

you’re a better listener this way.
(11:15am)

I’m sorry.
(1:43am)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened
(3:37am)

no. it’s not my fault.
(3:38am)

but it kind of is.
(3:39am)

I hate this
(2:00pm)

I don’t know who I am without you.
(12:01am)

why can’t things be like they were before
(10:13am)

please come back to me. I need you. you need me.
(1:58am)

we are so goddamn bad for each other it’s beautiful. I’m addicted to our heartbreak.
(4:06am)

I went through our old messages. I cried because you promised to always be there. you lied.
(9:16pm)

you smiled at me in the hall today. i thought my chest was being ripped open
(11:36pm)

I’m glad you’re smiling though.
(11:37pm)

texts I saved but never sent you since you left me. (via satanss-mistress)
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deaneggsandsam:

when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors

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llamasouls:

llamasouls:

llamasouls:

haha my friends having his penis deducted at a catholic hospital and like before the surgery all the nurses prayed over his dick for a “fast recovery” haha

update
apparently one of them was holding his dick and the doctor was all like “let us pray” and the person just continued to hold it

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adventuresonpaper:

thewanderingtrickster:

adventuresonpaper:

thewanderingtrickster:

My dad was kinda disappointed in Frozen because he was totally expecting Hans to rip off his gloves in the last part of the movie and have fire powers.

but could you imagine how cool that would be?? Then Elsa and Hans could duel it out with magic 

His red hair was apparently what made my dad start thinking that. And Southern Isles, you know, where it’s supposed to be warmer.

your dad should have written frozen

…. Sequel

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swiftspectral:

once you have a item in your wishlist for a year on amazon a worker should have to buy it for you

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burgerkid:

when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you

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That penguin is me. Nothing to do with the text. Just the penguin.

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tonydinozzos:

i was just showing my mom how to paste something into her text message on her phone and i was like “double tap in the the text box” “the text box” “the text box” and she was just pointing to random places on her screen that weren’t the text box and all i could think of was

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